Illustrations · Other characters · Writing


~*~*~*~The First Part of The Life and Times of Poodlepuff~*~*~*~



Once upon a dresser there sat a tiny town. Its tartan streets were lined with toys and trinkets in which the townsfolk toiled.

Puffpot Parlor was one such place, where Poodlepuff, the Petit Parisian Pastry chef, had been panicking over pastries since the first light of the lamp.

Sacre Bleu

‘Sacré bleu, mon petit Yeti,’ Poodlepuff sighed to his abominably adorable assistant.

Poodleyeti played a long, sad note on his accordion.

‘Iz a disasteur.’ Puff shook his head and tossed a three-tiered tart over his shoulder.

Too small, too chocolaty, too big, too soft, too gooey, too stale, too eggy, or just plain bread. These were the failings of our chef. To others, his mistakes would be minimal, but to a love-struck manpoodle, they simply would not do.

‘Iz always a disasteur. I am not good enough for ma chérie!’ Poodlepuff slumped into some frosting on his bench top. ‘Pots and Pans, Yeti! I ‘ave Butter-cream on my buttons.’

Poodleyeti paused a sympathetic tune to flick the frosting off with a finger. With delight, and so not to waste it, he sampled the tasty treat.

‘L’amore is a hard business, Yeti. Per’aps I should just ask Frou-Ca-Choo for a stew.’

Poodleyeti’s song stopped with a sour note.


‘A joke, mon Yeti. It would not be a celebration without cake, and they say from here to the closet, no-one can make cake like Monsieur Poodalpahf!’

‘Ouaf, Ouaf!’ agreed Yeti with yap.

The darling placed down his accordion and daintily tip-toed to the pantry.

Meanwhile Poodlepuff scrubbed his surfaces and cleaned his crockery, then pulled up his sleeves with no shortage of pluck.

‘Zis iz it, Yeti. Zis time it will be parfait,’ he declared. ‘Or per’aps an eclair. Or a gateau? Oh, I do not know.’

The yeti left the flour on the floor and retrieved his accordion to play a quick high, then long low note; a sigh to our Yeti composer.

Poodlepuff fretted over filo and cried over crumbs. Then, just as his creation looked to outshine all others, a surprise from his doors sent it tumbling with a terrible splat.

The plate it had sat on rolled to a stop at the ten socks of the five Frous.

Ooh là là…’ Poodlepuff’s heart sunk like a soufflé.’

Frou noo

‘You’re late, Mister Puff,’ said Frou-Frou with a disdainful frown. ‘Your dessert was due for delivery on the tenth squawk of the Dicky-bird! But since then whole seconds have passed!’

‘I ‘ave been ‘ere since three squawks preparing Priscilla’s pastries!’ said Poodlepuff.

Poodleyeti set the scene with a solemn song.

‘Though he is surely polishing his chin at this hour, we will have to trouble Sugarcube to bake Biscuits for us because of this,’ huffed Frou Frou without forgiveness.

‘Please, Monsiuer Frou Frou,’ Poodle plead and pulled at the points of Frou Frou’s vest. ‘You ‘ave to let me try one time more. I will even let you lick ze mixing bowl.’

Frou Frou gasped a small gasp and an extra pair of pink spots painted his cheeks. But with a shake of his head, he shook them away. ‘If you started that early, it should have been finished by now.’ Frou Frou turned on his heel, and without further ado, he flounced out the door.

Frou-Ba-Lou and Frou-Sha-Boo tutted their tongues as they turned too.

Two Frous stayed. The first started towards a sponge-cloth while the other pounced into the pastry pile.

Frou-Frou returned with a stamp of his foot and snapped, ‘don’t try to assist, Frou-Nou, and Frou-Ca-Choo, they’re long past five seconds on the floor!’

And that was that.

~*~*~*~If you enjoyed reading this~*~*~*~

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The Life and Times Of Poodlepuff ~ Wattpad

Illustrations · Other characters

Once upon a dressertop


A tiny town with tartan streets, where the houses are trinkets, teddies and a donkey named ppphhlbbbrt or filbert for short and the villagers are strange to say the least. In socks they sleep, except the Frous who choose to snooze in knickerbockers.

Illustration for the Life and Times of Poodlepuff.

Illustrations · Revolting Illustrations

Small Potato

Illustration 15 1000

” ‘Your vegetable moved,’ the fiend snapped as if he had never seen a vegetable from Tyrunvern before.

‘Of course it did. You poked it.’ Franz answered back, then realised Saloonka’s experience of vegetation was probably limited to Vrye’s lifeless varieties. Little wonder he was on edge. 

Illustration for chapter 15 of The Revolting Rose